Dear Chuck,

Would it work for you to fill in for Harvey soon? Mr. Driscoll wanted to know, and so does Harvey; he's getting kind of worn out. He hasn't missed one rehearsal yet! See you soon hopefully!

Dear Angela,

I thought he was going to burn out...its the same thing everytime with these rabbits...up all night multiplying...it has to do with the tortoise and the hare thing...they just don't know how to pace themselves...it always happens when Harvey plays himself. I know it doesn't look as good having a human play the part, but it just works better.

And just like the Dorothy deal...I've been there all the time for you guys. I know you haven't seen me...that's how really good I am at this thing. Seriously, just to drive this point home, if and when you guys need me, put on the ruby slippers, go to the middle of the stage, close your eyes, click your heels together three times and say, "There's nobunny like Chuck...there's nobunny like Chuck...there's nobunny like Chuck" and open your eyes, and I'll be right there in front of you.

I can't be there this weekend though...just took a job to shoot a quick Rabbit Volkswagon commercial in Boston...fall leaves and all...well we're filming in Maine, but we fly into Boston...anyway, besides that I'm around...just diggin up root vegetables...fall carrots and turnips are my favorites.

Cheers,

Dear Angela,

I am writing to apologize that I could not answer your summons the other day. This is terribly embarassing, but I have come down with an awful case of laryngitis.

I know I shouldn't have done it, but my cousin Peter was in town the other day, and (very innocently I assure you) I accompanied him to Mr McGregor's garden. As you've probably already guessed, we were discovered, and in making our escape, we were forced to hide in a watering can, as the story goes. I developed a fever that very night...a sore throat and earache the next day...followed by a cough and now a rather severe laryngitis.

My wife put me on a camomille tea, wilted cabbage and pureed carrot diet...but I think it is going to be too little too late. I just feel terribly stupid...last year there was the ordeal where I was thrown into the briar patch, and then the incident at the Apache Mall last Easter when I stole chocolate from a baby sitting on my lap for a portrait...it was purely a reflex, I assure you...stupid, stupid, stupid...and now this.

Although I'm sure you're ready to let me go...the show just can't take any negative press at this stage of the game...and I understand that...I would bunny beg on my haunches for a second chance, but I just don't see how I can deliver my lines as I should to Mr. Elwood P. My oridinarily meek and humble voice (a perfect compliment to my sidekick, Elwood) sounds like awful bunny screeches. And now my nose is constantly twitching. It's terrible! I woke this morning and even thought I'd grown a cotton tail...but alas, it was merely the cotton ball I'd placed in my ear last night stuck to my nightgown. Nearly frightened me to death. I feel like a real basket case right now...with half the eggs missing.

I realize that my lines are as audible as I am visible; nonetheless, I have much difficulty getting into character without my voice, and I'm sure I'll just throw Elwood off. I hate to back out so late...I could try next week. If you need me next week, just call me. You know the routine.

Cheerio,

Thank you Chuck. I'm sure we will be needing you next week. I am very sorry to hear about your laryngitis. I hope you're feeling bouncy as usual very soon. Harvey's wondering though, are you going to come watch his opening performance? He said the ticket's on him if you come, but I suppose he already told you that. Keep drinking Mrs. Slater's concoction - it almost never fails. Get well soon!

Dear Angela,

Whoa!!!! Awesome!!!! I can't tell you what an absolute thrill it was for me to play Harvey this evening. Bet you didn't even know, did you?...and I was standing right by you! Harvey gave me the part last minute when he unfortunately started having problems with his rabbit's foot...I think he stepped on a nail or something. Hey, just because I know Tonya Harding, I don't want any wild accusations now. Please just ask Harvey, himself...it was a simple accident. Okay...the nail was in his shoe...but I didn't put it there...(John Sackett did).

Oh...the lights, the applause, the whistling and cheering that went on and on...I was so high I felt like the Energizer Bunny plugged into a linear accelerator! Wheeew! The last time I felt that way was when I was a stand in for Blackbeard's Ghost at the Guthrie back in '65...Disney was there...Walt, I mean. I got the part as back up for the movie. Yeh, yeh, yeh...back up...stand in...always second fiddle...until tonight. Tonight, standing up there on stage with some of the world's best actors and actresses...and I'm being serious now...it was difficult to take in all that applause...and realize it wasn't all for me.

I did want to comment about the part where I shake the table, if you don't mind. I have no problem going through the door...I can tell it freaks out our littlest patrons which gives me no small pleasure...but I'm just wondering if the audience thinks I'm too fat when the table shakes. By the end of summer, I'm always a little self-conscious concerning my weight...it's a little embarrassing, but do you mind if we go back to just jostling a couple crates?

I hope the show was to everyone's satifaction tonight; in truth, I'm not sure anyone could tell the difference. And kudos to Elwood P. who, in light of my ongoing laryngitis...(should be better Sunday)...was able to read the lips of an invisible rabbit!!! Wow!!! Let's do it again tomorrow! I'm sure the "Old Timer"..."The Rabbit"...like Harvey, himself...is going to be tied up at the Vet Hospital where I left him. (I paid a little under the table...and a lot over the table...but shhhhh! Don't tell. These things just are NOT good for publicity. Look at Tonya Harding now...she's doing stand up comedy at demolition derbies in northern Maine...in January! I just can't bear the thought of being for the rest of my life the poster rabbit for an invisible fence company.)

Whiskers and tails,

Dear Chuck,

I am glad to hear that your night was so magnificent! I know, the Energizer Bunny feeling is amazing.

But, I think that all of us need to be sensative to other cast members. Note to all cast members, naming no names in particular, we should be happy for others and not wish to harm them (or hurt them, prick their feet, etc.). Let's all work together on this, it really will make everything more fun for everyone. Ahem..........

We are looking forward to a grand closing night tonight. Chuck and Harvey, would you mind sharing this opening night? It may get a little confusing, but you could switch off every other scene so that neither of you feels left out. Talk it over with eachother, and surprise us with your decision. Break a leg!